Game 1: 11am Conditions: Sunny with a side of Hungover:
- The Huge Winners v. Cal West #3
o Final Score: 12-6
The excitement of the 2013 IM Football season began with a HUGE BANG when
the Huge Winners made some halftime adjustments to their game. The result: clean
penetration of the endzone to end a scoring draught and break the tie. The long scoring
draught made Cal West # 3’s 6 points seem small and impotent compared to the 12 points
put up by The Huge Winners. Although Cal West #3 held their heads up high after the
devastating loss, they know it’s a numbers game and anything could happen next week
if they just be themselves and have the courage to put their-selves out there. There is
no doubt they will show up next week to play an athletic event instead of discussing the
legal implications of their player waivers.
Game 2: 12PM; Conditions: Getting Hotter with a little breeze of booze:
- #StinkyPinkies v. Malicious Tortfeasors
o Final Score: 32-12
The #StinkyPinkies came out of the gate ready to play and extra pink. Exerting pressure
early, The pinkies exerted their stinky-ness early and often as they were led by Tim “my
fault” Seeger at QB who even completed a couple of passes to the Malicious Tortfeasors
to get them involved. Dan “Hands”son lived up to his name as he led the Pinkies with
two touchdowns on only 5 plays. The girls were as always on fire with Sammie “the
endzone queen” Eyde with the first touchdown.
The Malicious Tortfeasors declined to comment for the after game notes, possible.
Maybe next week they will prevail and be more affable towards the media.
Game 3: 1pm; Conditions: Hot with a chance of fun
- Torts Illustrated v. Cal West #1
o Final Score: 26-2
Torts Illustrated commented to the press that “their game plan really came together”
for the first week of play. While no one on the team actually knows their game plan, it
seemed to be working for the first game with a dominating win over Cal West #1.
Cal West #1 commented for the record that their goal for next week is to “SCORE A
TOUCHDOWN”. Cal West also wanted to throw out a thank you to the refs for their
patience with learning the new rules and understanding that it was football and not
choreographed line dancing that they were competing in.
Game 4: 2 PM; Conditions: Ocean breeze with a hint of Limearitas
- Professor Sacks v. Statue of Frauds
o Final Score: 20-8
With the first win for Cal West’s team Professor Sacks in the league they declared with
glee that Girl plays are sexy! The comments from Statue of Frauds team although well
prepared just could not catch a break with the sun being in their eyes and trying out a new
“Statue of Liberty Play” that just happened to back fire and create a touchdown for the
other team. Maybe next week it will all come together!
Game 5: 3 PM; Conditions: Hotter than Ryan Gosling in his Underwear
- TJSL Stallions v. 4L’s Do it Longer
o Final Score: 33-13
As the reigning champs jogged onto the field, it was noticeable that they had been
training in the off-season with lots of GTL’ing. They came out to an early lead but were
caught up with their QB throwing 2 interceptions that helped the other team put up 2
Danny so coyly told the press that the win was because of his effort of coming out strong
and that they all played hard as a team, while all of his teammates including Babak were
wondering where their hard efforts of interceptions and touchdowns came into the game.
4L’s Do it Longer sure knew what they need to work on when the captain says that
their offseason was difficult and today’s game was a lot of hard work, but maybe the
cohesiveness for next game will be there. It appears if the 4L’s don’t get it together soon
they may be looking at the scoreboard longer in disbelief.
Game 6: 4PM; Conditions: Smooth Breeze on your Cleats
- Distant Relatives v. Cal West #4
o Final Score: 26-6
For the final game of the day, Distant Relatives came out strong with a comment of “well
we did have a great draft, picking up Cliffton Clark in the 3rd round of maybe probable season, and that the rookies all did excellent.” Good motivation for next week is to know the confusing difference between the ref’s whistle blowing and the ball being hiked from the center.
They also claim that they have the “best girls in the league.” Challengers accepted to best their girls for next week!
Cal West #4, dressed in seasonal orange, was too upset that they did not bring a 36-rack to focus on the game. Cal West #4’s players are reevaluating their priorities this week and such all players have been listed as “questionable…for touchdowns” for next week’s game.